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Friday, October 11th, 2002
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4:48 pm
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Back from the honeymoon with beeeeeeeeeeautiful Artanis and our beeeeeeeeeeeeeautiful baby!! WHEEEE!!! Me and her and baby and Fingon are going to Lindon to rub our beautiful child in everyone's face and stuff. Ehehehehe.
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, September 23rd, 2002
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11:45 pm - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH BABY!!!!!
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OHMYERUOHMYERUOHMYERU I HAVE A BABY!!!!!!!
*hyperventilates*
*calms down*
Olwë came over yesterday and dropped over the boy who he injected some hormones in to advance his gestation in the petri dish and stuff and WOW. It is official. Artanis, baby and I are the most gorgeous family on Arda. Probably in Valinor too. All of Eä. WE ARE SO PRETTY.
And the kid is like..... a genius or something. He can talk better than I can. He doesn't cry-- if he like, wants some juice, he just says it and I go get it for him and like YAY! HE IS SUPER ELF BABY!
Artanis and I already picked out names for him too. His mother name is Fingon and his father-name is Fë Fë II. Making him Fingon Fë Fë II I. I hear the little kid already typing away on a typewriter, writing his memoirs of the petri dish days. WOW. Ollie told me that like, me and Artanis's families are so fucked up ("six Galadriels and the sons of Fëanor? Beren raping Finrod? I know he's adopted, but CELEBORN? Come on.") that it all got skipped a generation and came out like the elven kings of old-- Grandpa and Olwë. Meaning the kid'll be a gold suit wearing stoner extrodinaire.
...I LOVE MY BABY!! :D :D :D :D LOVE MY BABY AND WORSHIP HIM AS YOUR BABY ELVEN KING! Or. Um. Something. *cuddles Fingon FeFe II I*
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(27 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, September 21st, 2002
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11:24 pm
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| Wednesday, September 11th, 2002
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4:53 pm
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Being married is fun! It's like having a girlfriend forever and they can't run away because instead of being tied down by mithril handcuffs, bonds of love and devotion tie us together.
Plus. All the sex is good. No more petri dishes though. I think the six dozen frozen ones in our mini bar are enough to please grampy. :)
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, September 8th, 2002
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3:35 am - midnight wedding
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Artanis and I wanna get married right now. Someone wanna officiate? Right here, right now, as quickly as possible so we can get onto that fun newlywed sex we've been casually experimenting in over the past week or so.
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(25 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, September 7th, 2002
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2:40 am - tv show
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Bergil Half elven is MEAN. To even SUGGEST that my father is anything but a selfless, giving, and not at all insane former man is ridiculous! Here follows my conversation with the monster himself, while I convince the little fucker to let Daddy on the show.
(Bergil) *SOB*
(fingon) pleeeeease let uncle feanor come mr. bergil? *bat bat pout*
(fingon) *flutter*
(Bergil) *hides behind Glory*
(fingon) rawr.
(fingon-mun) you see what happens when fingon doesn't get his way? he turns into irmo. without the winking.
(fingon) ;)
(maedhros) *threatens to write "i love bergil" on his face in blood*
(bergil-mun) Bergil doesn't think you have the guts
(maedhros) no guts, eh? i only have guts for very few things. digestion being one-- hopelessly and stalkerly devoted to other people is another.
(maedhros) *holds up wig made of artanis's hair*
(bergil-mun) No one stalks Bergil. He's good like that
(maedhros) there's a first time for everything. ;)
(maedhros) *winks excessively*
(Bergil) I DO NOT FEAR YOU
(maedhros) *begins unbuttoning shirt and dancing provacatively*
(maedhros) *to the beat of 'i am the oliphaunt'*
(Bergil) *thinks of Glory*
(bergil) *thinks very hard of Glory*
(maedhros) *thinks of glory too*
(Bergil) And we shall think of Glory together
(maedhros) *rubs against bergil*
(Bergil) Good god
(Bergil) *whimper*
(Bergil) I want my mommy o.o
(maedhros) let my daddy on the show before i make you my... SUGAR DADDY.
(maedhros) *begins looking for props*
(Bergil) Your WHAT?
(maedhros) ;)
(Bergil) Seriously. What does that mean?
(maedhros) like hell if i know. glorfie called elrond that a few dozen times. must be something frightening to semi-normal people
(Bergil) Right then
(maedhros) back to scaring you into letting my father on the show. *rub rub rub*
(Bergil) Now I want my daddy...
(maedhros) *jumps into his lap*
(Bergil) O>O
(Bergil) *tries to shove you off* That's my special area! No touchee!
(maedhros) *clings*
(Bergil) *cries*
(maedhros) let daddy on the showwwww before i start shifting!
(Bergil) NO
(Bergil) He is banned for LIFE
(maedhros) you asked for it.
(maedhros) *shift*
(maedhros) *lap dances*
(Bergil) You are a bad man
(maedhros) you are too! LET MY DADDY ON THE SHOW!!
(Bergil) YOUR DADDY BRINGS PAIN AND DESTRUCTION
(maedhros) AND THAT'S WHY EVERYONE LOVES HIM!
(Bergil) also, stop that. It makes me feel uncomfortable. *tries to escape*
(maedhros) that's the point fuckface now LET HIM ON!
(Bergil) ...*cries*
(maedhros) *glares* doooooooo IT.
(Bergil) *gnaws wrists to escape*
(maedhros) NOPE. LET HIM ON THE SHOW!
(Bergil) MAKE ME
(maedhros) okay *lap dances again*
(Bergil) damnit
(maedhros) come on!! let him on. he's a nice guy.
(Bergil) he's evil and his children make me cry
(maedhros) he's not evil! just greedy and mischevious.
(Bergil) I'm leaving now Mr. Scary elf
(maedhros) my father's going you know! okay bye bye!
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(21 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, August 31st, 2002
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1:55 am - wedding schtuff
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| Tuesday, August 27th, 2002
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2:55 am - artanis my love...
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| Sunday, August 25th, 2002
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4:05 am - many people know this already...
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...but my cousins are the most humpable things on the face of Middle Earth. Purr.
If it wasn't obvious in the comments in Brí's journal when I first discovered the bright flowery monochromatic beauty that was my cousin Artanis/Galadriel/chick from the forest, or from the icon that proclaims my never ending love for my cousin and the cutter offer of my hand, Fingon-- I have a new mun. And things are terrifying already.
SONS OF FEANOR! HEAR ME O HEAR ME!! Our father has been curséd with too mucheth eyeshadoweth upon his eyes...eth... for weekend upon weekend to come! Therefore, for no reason at all, I proclaim today WRITE ON PEOPLE WITH MAKE UP DAY. And now, off I go in order to find Galadriel #5 and woo her as she has never been wooed before! WOO!
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(58 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, August 1st, 2002
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1:07 pm
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My dear and darling Fatima has gone to the Bahamas to catch some Vitamin D.
I have snuck myself into her carry-on bag. She does not know that I am here.
Ehehehehehehe.
current mood: accomplished
current music: jet engines & in-flight movie
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 23rd, 2002
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10:27 pm
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| Sunday, July 21st, 2002
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12:44 pm - All my loving, I will send to you...
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;) ;) ;)
Du glaubst sie liebt nur mich,
gestern hab' ich sie gesehen.
Sie denkt ja nur an dich
und du solltest zu ihr gehen.
O ja sie liebt dich,
schöner kann es gar nicht sein.
Ja sie liebt dich
und dann solltest du dich freu'n.
Sie liebt dich yeah yeah yeah.
Sie liebt dich yeah yeah yeah.
Sie liebt dich yeah yeah yeah yeah.
current mood: fatima, ma belle sont des mots
current music: qui vont tres bien ensemble. ;) ;) ;)
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(16 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, July 20th, 2002
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7:57 pm
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 </a> | I AM A PANSYPUPPET!
I am not a pansy! I'm just...nice. And I don't like killing anyone,
at least not anymore. And okay, so I look really good in sparkly
makeup, but that's just because I'm so pretty good-looking! I'm
sensitive! People like me! Stop making fun of me! I..I'll cry!
My patron saint is: Fatima |
What kind of sockpuppet are you? Find out at MESPT.com!
</center>
See, Fatima? My mun would like to say that she told you that you are a god around here. :P
Fatima is the god of the endearing weaklings and cowards that exist without dignity. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I love you.
( Of course, this is pretty much every single one of my mun's puppets. Maybe. Sort of. )
current mood: nyah nyah
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(26 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, July 12th, 2002
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7:43 pm
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Dear Ms. K,
I would go on a violent rampage with the arrival of the two silmarils but I fear chipping my nails or getting horrid blood stains on my brand new Ungaro cream-coloured trousers with the dainty pinstripes on them.
Besides, obsessing over rocks and rocks-turned-humanoids and singing laments to them instead of just outright molesting them is Maglor's bag.
I could go further into this but as of the moment, my primary concern is centred on the fact that this is the third night in which I had that recurring dream of a rippling, shirtless Fingon with large, white feathery wings rescuing me from that mountain.
Now, I must go and gaze in front of the mirror and nance around whilst repeating to myself, 'the past is not haunting me.' I would go seek Elrond's counsel on this or get some of that proper medication whatsits from him, but he would probably advise me to sleep with one of my brothers and I am not down with that.
No matter how much you may want it to be so.
So here, I send you complimentary sapphires which I stole stole from my father's many jewelryboxes along with this letter, and I wish you the best.
Sincerely,
Maedhros, First son of Feanor.
PS: I also enclosed a photograph of myself in this new Michael Kors suit. I don't look fat, do I? Maglor is such a nasty liar.
current mood: preening
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 11th, 2002
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9:17 am - hmm
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New hand and new angle at which to admire my hook.
Also trying to decide on a new outfit to wear to answer the phone. I'm afraid I'm not nearly as careful about this as I should be.
current mood:  anxious
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, June 3rd, 2002
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6:42 pm
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Aule gave me a hand again. Yay!
I will not take kindly to being hung from a mountaintop from my brand new hand. I might even cry, even though the effort would wrinkle my seamless, pristine face.
Cry not, Maedhros.
My hook, I hang from my belt.
It sparkles.
Sparrrrkllyyyyyyyyy.
current mood: sparkly
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(10 comments | comment on this)
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12:06 am
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| Monday, May 13th, 2002
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1:14 am
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Mandos Recall Release Form
Name of Review Applicant (ie: King Undead Elven Fucker): Maedhros the Tall, Princess
PRE-DEATH INFORMATION
Residence: Valinor... and then I wandered around Middle Earth before throwing myself into a fissure. Daddy's jewels hurt me. :(
Occupation/Position (ie: Lord of Doriath): Son of Fëanor, A Damn Fine Handsome Motherfucker - fairer than Celegorm.
Species/Race (ie: Elf, Noldor): Elf, Noldor
Spouse (if applicable): None!
Name:
Species/Race:
Is spouse living, dead or resurrected?:
If living or resurrected, current relationship status:
If living or resurrected, current residence:
Children (if applicable): None!
Name(s):
# disowned:
Are/have children...
Living, dead or resurrected?:
Former band camp attendee(s)?:
Produced any Gamgee spawn?:
Orientation:
[X] Good
[] Evil
[] Waste of Space
Historical accomplishment(s): I swore an Oath because I loved my father. Morgoth was mean and hung me from the wrist off of Thangorodrim. I only have one hand. I stole the remaining Silmarils with my brother Maglor but it hurt me - so much that I decided to throw myself into a fissure. I'm also extraordinarily attractive.
POST-RESURRECTION INFORMATION
Current Residence: Rivendell
Orientation:
[] Good
[] Evil
[X] Slut
Patron Vala/Valië (if applicable): Aulë
Reason for return: The shopping is better in Middle Earth.
Method of release/escape from Mandos: I winked at one of the guards and as she was kept in a catatonic state at the sight of my beauty, she let me pass.
In 100 words or less, justify your existence:
I'm good-looking. To the extreme.
----DO NOT WRITE BELOW THIS LINE----
FOR PROCESSOR ONLY:
WOULD YOU LIKE FRIES WITH THAT?
[] YES
[] NO
--end of form
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, May 6th, 2002
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10:11 pm
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So.
I died.
I vacuumed the tv room hoping to be on Denethor's good side when I submit my paperwork as well as buying him a dozen roses just for him being a hard worker, etc
NAME: Maedhros
RESIDENCE: Rivendell
MARITAL STATUS (check one):
[ ] single
[ ] married
[ ] imprisoned
[X] willingly enslaved
[ ] involved slut
[ ] "partnered," but employed by Disney and/or Southerners
CHILDREN? y/n: No.
If YES, #:
If YES, names and ages:
If YES, names of the children you actually want:
REASON REQUESTING RESURRECTION:
[ ] war will be lost in absence
[ ] am famous Maia not finished conquering unspeakable evil
[ ] wife and 20 kids will starve, blah blah, or related excuse
[x] too pretty to die
[ ] heirless/usurped royalty
[ ] revenge
[ ] I'm missing "Buffy."
[ ] Other (Please describe):
BODY:
[ ] human
[x] elf
[ ] dwarf
[ ] halfling
[ ] non-humanoid (describe: _____)
[ ] Michael J. Fox
[ ] other: _____
NECESSARY REPAIRS OR ALTERATIONS:
[ie: removal of foreign object from eye socket, reconstruction of crushed face or skull, replacement of limb lost in death, removal of evil beeper or other telecommunications device given by Prince of Darkness]
How I was before, thanks.
CAPITAL OF ASSYRIA: Calah
FAVORITE COLOR (check one): [X] blue [ ] yellow
AFFILIATION:
[x] good
[ ] evil
[ ] cult (which: _____)
[ ] neutral chaotic
PETS (if any): N/A
# OF TIMES PET(S) HAS TRIED TO MURDER FAMILY MEMBER, SPOUSE OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER/ DESTROY TOKYO/ EAT A WORLD LEADER/ START INTERNATIONAL CONFLICT/ OTHER ATROCITY/ACT OF MERCY: N/A
DESCRIBE: N/A
NAME OF GREAT-GREAT-GRANDMOTHER'S PET POODLE: Moo-moo
BRAND OF SAID POODLE'S FLEA COLLAR: Itchy & Scratchy B-GONE
--------------DO NOT WRITE BELOW THIS LINE------------
FOR PROCESSOR ONLY:
[ ] ACCEPT
[ ] REJECT
NOTES:
--------------------------------
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, May 4th, 2002
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8:57 pm
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maedhrosthetall's journal
